A cold winter’s day, sun barely peeping in the windows and frost outside. Children in pyjamas, warm bowls of porridge placed in front of everyone, creamy and sweet and filling. Gently cooked fruit on top and sticky maple syrup dripping round the edges. Cups of black coffee. Morning.

Two of my children love porridge more than anything else. On birthday mornings they are allowed to choose anything they want- waffles, pancakes, buttery croissants. No. Lilias requests porridge every year. It blows my mind! Her favourite cafe in Wellington is The Oatery where there are just different porridges to choose from. It just doesn’t do it for me in the same way. I would far prefer buttery toast and a cup of tea to start my day, but we have a one option for the whole family rule so over the years I am always switching up the way I make porridge to keep it interesting.

Porridge is one of those meals that tastes completely different depending on who makes it. I never understand how as it really just comes down to one part oats to two parts liquid simmered until creamy and cooked. But over the years I have made many tweaks to the way I make it. This is our favourite at the moment.

Porridge

• 2 cus rolled porridge oats
• 1 cup oat milk
• 1 cup mik
• 2 cups water
• 3 dates finely chopped
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp vanilla paste
• Small handful of des. coconut

Either soak overnight or mix together in the morning and stir over a medium heat until cooked and creamy. Porridge stirring is a great thing for a little hungry helper to do while you make yourself a cup of coffee to accompany it!

Top with whatever you like but our favourite combinations are

• Stewed pears or apples with an extra dusting of cinnamon and maple syrup
• Cut up banana, almond butter and coconut flakes
• Stewed rhubarb, strawberries and muscovado sugar
• Cocoa and sugar added while cooking and banana on top
• good old brown sugar and cream

Growing up there was always a salad with dinner. Mostly a mesclun mix with a balsamic vinegar dressing that my dad would drink the remains of while doing the dishes thinking no one was watching. I love those nostalgic salads, a crunchy iceberg salad, or a cos lettuce with a green goddess dressing that was so popular in San Francisco when we were living there. Or this one, my absolute favourite. We eat a version of this multiple times a week – with a risotto, a pasta, or just with bread for lunch.

This isn’t really a recipe but just a reminder of a few salady things that mix together well. Toss some bitter raddichio, peppery rocket, sweet pear, crunchy hazelnuts and salty parmesan together. Perhaps a few other leaves that you have in the fridge- endive is particularly good with this combination. Add a lemon and olive oil dressing and you have yourself something magical.

Being a public holiday in America today, Ollie didn’t have meetings so we could sit down and eat lunch together. Clementine was sleeping, Charlie at preschool, Lilias and Oscar at school. The sun was shining and the doors were wide open to let in the crisp winter air. We don’t get many moments together like this so it made the salad, coffee and company all the better.

I feel like my life as a parent can be measured out in banana bread. When I was horribly sick and pregnant with Lilias, I craved its sweet yet filling and bready goodness constantly. A cafe down the road from my work made a deliciously moist banana bread and I would rush down to get a coffee and a piece at 3 o’clock to help get me through until we closed at 7pm. I found a recipe I loved and baked a long line up of them in the weeks before Lilias arrived, only to have a mouse nibble the end of each and every one of them as they cooled on the bench. Tears may have been shed…

Since babies, then toddlers, then preschoolers and school aged children have been part of my life, I have baked banana breads on repeat. Most weeks I find myself mashing bananas with a fork, the oven warming and a coffee brewing. The children’s interest in cracking eggs and measuring out oil waxes and wanes as time passes, but I generally find one set to helping hands to make more of a mess than is necessary. Should we make a classic loaf or one made with almond flour? Do we add chocolate on top? Olive or coconut oil? A banana bread can be many things. And there is still nothing I love more for afternoon tea than a warm slab with a hot coffee.

I am often asked for my favourite recipe and so here you have it. My humble opinion on the many, many banana bread recipes I have tried.

• The best classic banana bread is Ottolenghi’s one from Plenty More. I don’t add the nuts. I don’t add the tahini or honey comb. Just some butter spread on top and preferably warm from the oven.

• The best quick and easy make in a blender recipe is Eleanor Ozich’s from My Family Table. I love the addition of almond butter to make it rich and moist. It also happens to be gluten, dairy and almost sugar free.

• My other favourite gluten free recipe is from Cannelle et Vanille which contains a few more ingredients and is absolutely delicious.

• I also went crazy for this banana bread for a while- the addition of coconut and chocolate makes it taste like a bounty bar in all the right ways. I will put it on the list to bake over the weekend!

There are certain friends who feel more like family. We met friends like this soon after we moved to San Francisco. Fellow New Zealanders, we were introduced by a mutual friend and it turned out they lived just a few blocks from us. We helped each other through multiple pregnancies, newborns and toddler meltdowns. Shared Christmas, summer holidays, thanksgivings and birthdays. The Halses became our family far from home. It just so happened that they moved back to New Zealand at the same time as us and although we aren’t in the same city anymore, we get together for holidays as often as we can. And it is always magical. This weekend they came to stay with us so I was the designated cook. We had champagne, red wine, slow cooked beef with slaw, corn chips and all the toppings, little gluten free tarts with lemon curd, greek yogurt and freeze dried berries and more wine. We had coffee with a delicious gluten free brownie that I will share soon too, and a pumpkin risotto that was perfect for when the rain and wind howled outside. 

I learnt how to make a risotto from good old Jamie Oliver twenty years ago. I still remember making my first one for my flat mates in a freezing house during my second year at university. Having watched my mother make countless risotto for our family I thought I would have learnt through osmosis but never had there been such a salty, crunchy mushroom risotto made before! They have definitely improved over time and now I can make them while reading spelling words, helping do a puzzle and holding a grizzling baby all at the same time. 

Pumpkin Risotto to Feed a Crowd
2 white onions
2 sticks of celery
2 garlic cloves
700g canaroli or arborio rice
1 large glass of white wine
2 litres of chicken stock 
1 medium sized butternut squash
1 tsp nutmeg
a large handful of sage, leaves picked
50g butter
A large handful of roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped
lots of good parmesan 

First, warm your stock in a pan.

Next deseed, peel and cube the squash. Roast in the oven for about half an hour/45 minutes with the nutmeg, some olive oil and sea salt until it is soft.

While this is cooking, finely the onion, garlic and celery stalk and gently fry for about 15 minutes, or until they have softened. When the vegetables have softened, add the rice and fry until it is slightly translucent. Next add the glass of wine and stir until the smell of alcohol has disappeared.

You can now start adding the stock bit by bit, little by little. The more you stir, the creamier it gets. Continue until the rice is almost cooked. Now add the squash and smoosh it into the rice until it is all a beautiful golden colour. My children aren’t big pumpkin fans so I didn’t leave any pieces whole but do whatever you would prefer. 

Remove from the heat and add half the parmesan. Place a lid on the pan and allow to sit for 2 minutes. This lets the rice get really creamy and thick so don’t skip this step.

While this magic is happening, fry the sage leaves in the butter until they are crispy and delicious. Add these and the toasted hazlenuts on top and let everyone sprinkle some more parmesan on top. 

Enjoy with a glass of red wine and a table full of friends that have become family.

After the many kind words and questions about my post on eating at our table, I thought I would give you a few tips on how I get everyone in the family sitting up and ready to enjoy their dinner together. I would also like to point out that I am definitely no expert! This is just what I have found works for our little tribe x

– Above all, don’t put too much pressure on yourself! Some meals are always going to be a disaster no matter what you serve your children.

– Make sure everyone is coming to the table hungry- if your children have been snacking all day they are less likely to eat their meal.

– Try and eat the same thing all together as a family. Although this can be difficult in our fast paced lives, it can become such a special part of your daily ritual. Put your children in charge of setting the table nicely- younger ones can put around napkins, older ones can fill water glasses or write menus. Light a candle or collect flowers to put in the middle of the table to show it is a special time for the family to come together at the end of the day.

– Try starting the meal with a salad or vegetables. This can be accompanied by a dressing or dip they can dunk their food into. It is amazing what will be eaten when you’re really hungry and there is nothing else to choose! 

– You don’t need to enforce old school rules of finishing everything on your plate. Encourage your children to try everything, but they don’t have to finish anything. You don’t want meal times to become a battle of who is most stubborn in the family! Trying a little of everything will help them get used to new foods. To start with you might get a nibble, but over time they will learn to like most things. For some children textures are what puts them off, for others it is flavour. If they don’t like boiled carrots, try them grated in a salad, roasted with seeds, or cut into sticks for dunking in hummus. 

– Just as some children are more adventurous playing, some are more adventurous with eating. Make sure there is something on their plate that they know and like so a hesitant eater isn’t too overwhelmed with a plate full of unknown food.

– Try not to label food as good or bad. Just talk about enjoying food and how it makes you feel. These green fritters make us so strong, we will be able to play at the playground for ages! Eating ice cream for every meal would give us a sore tummy, but how delicious does an ice cream cone at the beach on a sunny day taste?

– Never assume what your children may like or not like. One of mine loves nothing more than a pickle but won’t go near a cream filled donut! 

– For dessert, chia pudding or greek yoghurt with some honey or fruit is a great way to fill up any gaps and keep everyone sleeping through the night. 

 What a gift to give your children. A love of good food shared with those they love.